As much as the manners in your mouth and the clothes on your back, your choice of adult beverage announces to the world around you exactly the kind of person you are. From scotch to fruity and frozen, the contents of your cup reveal more about your personality to your friends and family — and most importantly, to your bartender — than you could possibly imagine. Is it time to rethink your favorite drink?
- You Never Met a Trend You Didn’t Like — or Try
If the names mojito, caipirinha and dark and stormy are all part of your long and storied relationship with hard liquor, then chances are you love the latest in mixed drink trends. There isn’t anything you won’t try at least once — as long as someone else is drinking it. From flavored tequila to locavore spirits to owning your own mortar and pestle for optimal herb grinding, your libation is your message. It doesn’t even have to taste like alcohol — appletini, anyone?
- The Beer Snob
If commercial beer makes your nose wrinkle in disgust and you can name six local breweries within a 200-mile radius, you’re a beer snob. You might think you’re not a snob because you’re drinking beer, but you’d be wrong — you’re more like Patagonia-loving, telemark-skiing, flannel-shirt-wearing, anti-snob snob. You know your IPAs from your stouts and lagers, and you’re not afraid of a little fruit. If you like your beer to taste like a meal, the Beer Snob route is for you — especially if it comes with grass-fed meat and house made pickles.
- The Classicist
You like the taste of alcohol, you don’t like a lot of extra ingredients, you never mix costly liquors with mixers and you always drink quality spirits neat. The frozen or fiery drink is your sworn enemy. You secretly think you’d be awesome on the cast of Mad Men and drink trends make you roll your eyes. You know that real martinis have gin — not vodka — although you’re not opposed to a dirty vodka martini with extra olives every now and again. From the richest artisan rums to vodka and soda with a twist of lime, you like to think you’re the second coming of the James Bond — if he drank anything other than shaken martinis, that is.
- It’s Wine O’Clock Somewhere
There is no other alcoholic beverage that offers drinkers the depth and breadth of choices quite like wine. Some connoisseurs only drink certain vintage reds while others prefer whites, bubbles and sometimes, rosé. And although the most selective consumers wouldn’t dare drink cheap vino, the most experienced wine lovers know there are tremendous values in less costly labels. What you prefer doesn’t matter, and how far you take your passion for fermented grape juice doesn’t matter, either. It’s always time for wine!
- Is There an Umbrella Involved?
If the mai tai, rum runner, daiquiri or pina colada is calling your name, then you are either on vacation or brand new to alcohol. These sweet drinks are not only responsible for introducing millions of eager young adults into the world of liquor, they also tend to be short-lived trends. Do you know anyone over the age of 21 who can drink frozen strawberry daiquiris all night long? We didn’t think so.
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